This is just too funny. It is satire…but it isn’t. It is supposed to be funny…but it kind of isn’t. The piece was written by Dr. Leonard Payton. Among my favorites:
ACCOMPANIMENT TRACK – A means of momentarily transforming ordinary folks into Christian Artists.
GOOD OLD HYMN – Any congregational song composed between 1850 and 1950, in a style fitting for the circus, reminding us of our parents’ and grandparents’ hokey churches. A verse of one of these songs should be sung periodically for wholesome sentimental value, similar to baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet.
OVERHEAD – An appropriate object of genuflection. For maximum relevance, the overhead should be placed where the Cross was.
VULNERABILITY – A worship leader’s willingness to dip anecdotally into his own experiences, especially those which make him look like a buffoon. Other ways of displaying vulnerability are the closing of eyes, the raising of hands, and the production of tears.
Read the whole thing.
